Ideal NFL Disciplinary Committee
With the recent ESPN’s Outside the Lines report depicting the ridiculous levels of deceit in the New England Patriot’s Spygate activities and the corrupt ways in which Goodell and the NFL’s league office destroyed evidence, it’s time for the NFL to change the way it handles investigations into errant activites and issues discipline. Something has to give if the fans are to have any confidence in the League going forward.
The activities of breaking into opposing team’s locker rooms to steal plays and then the way the NFL league office bascially turned a blind eye reeks of a scent similar to an organized crime syndicate. Goodell is under far too much influence and pressure from owners to be able to properly investigate matters and issue discipline. He hasn’t gotten an disciplinary action right all year.
It’s time to hand over the reigns to an independent, outside committee to investigate all accusations of cheating and criminal activities of players/owners/management/staff. This Disciplinary Committe should consist of five individuals from various backgrounds, none of which should include sports. The presence of women on the Committee would be most important, particularly in light of the recent Ray Rice and Greg Hardy incidents.
This doesn’t have to be an exhaustive, time-consuming search. We here at Jawnville have selected individuals that we think would do an excellent job of not taking any of the NFL’s bullshit and holding people accountable in a just manner.
Without further adieu, here’s our Committee:
That’s a Committee you don’t want to go in front of and answer questions or dodge responsibility. If you were in high school, these individuals would all be principals that you’d try to avoid.
LYNNE ABRAHAM: Abraham spent 19 years as the District Attorney in Philadelphia. She was tough as nails on crime. She’s so old-school that she still came out against the decriminalization of marijuana in 2015! You don’t earn the nicknames “Deadliest DA” or “Queen of Death” by being a pushover. Abraham brings a bit of the older, angrier Catholic School nun principal vibe to the Committee.
MICHELLE OBAMA: Obama is a 21st Century strong, confident woman that will not put up with any dumbass excuses or shady cover-ups. She’s not gonna fall for the sob stories that players often use in trying to excuse their behavior or ignorance. Obama grew up in Chicago, went to a public school which took 3 hours round trip to get to, and worked her way into Princeton. Save the excuses, fellas!
GLORIA ALLRED: Hahahaha…is there a female attorney that exudes more fear in males than Allred? Maybe Nancy Grace. She’s born in Philly so we know she’s tough. If you’re a dude, Allred is having none of anything. If a players is even remoted accused of committing a crime towards a woman, she’s gonna assume guilty until proven innocent. Since this isn’t a real criminal setting where people might go to jail, we are okay with that assumption of guilt. We’re only talking about game suspensions and fines for athletes where the minimum pay is about 20x’s the average median income. She’s fiercely dedicated to defending and protecting women’s rights and bringing those who harm women to justice. Yo dudes, it’s time to pay the piper if you appear in front of her.
COLIN POWELL: Powell is one of the most respected invidiuals in our country. Yes, he was given bad intel and made erroneous statements about weapons of mass destruction, but ignore that. He didn’t knowingly make erroneous statements. That being said, he’s an upstanding dude that would work to keep the integrity of the game at its highest possible level. He did two tours in Vietnam so I think he’s tough enough to stand up against the bully NFL owners. He’s also calm, intelligent, and rational. Powell brings the “wise grandfather vibe” that you just don’t want to disappoint.
JOHN TIMONEY: We have to have an investigator or law enforcement individual on the Committee. Timoney is perfect. He’s personable, thorough, a solid dude. Timoney has been married to his wife for 44 years. His long career hasn’t been tainted with any real scandals. The people who work around him like him. He’s worked in the private and public sector of security and law firm. He’s a smart guy that would ensure that the league office investigates matters properly and handles evidence appropriately.
There you have it. If the NFL wants to get on a path towards respectability and earn the confidence of it’s millions of fans, this Committee would be the perfect first step. This billion dollar, bully, non-profit needs to get it’s house in order. The five people on are Committee would ensure that.
E-A-G-L-E-S!
As always, thanks for reading and sharing.