10 Reasons for Small Crowd at Eagles Open Practice
Philly sports-radio and media is on fire with reports of 18,000 people coming out to a Philadelphia Eagles Sunday morning Open Practice on a day with thunderstorms in the forecast.
We here at Jawnville think that’s an impressive number with so many reasons not to venture down to Lincoln Financial field. Here’s just a few of those jawns.
1 – DNC HANGOVER
Philadelphians were exhausted from boozing until 4 .m. all week. The last thing we wanted to do was to get up early on a Sunday. No football practice or even church was getting theses revelers up early.
Exhibit A:
2 – BEER GARDENS
With more options for drinking outside on a Sunday afternoon without catching any static from your significant other, attendance was doomed to drop.
Philly has far too many good beer gardens these days. Sure, last year maybe 40,000 people came out to a Sunday morning Open Practice last year. What else would they do with only a handful of beer gardens at the time. This year, in addition to staples at Harbor Park and South Street, we got outdoor beer gardens at the Viaduct, Parks on Tap, Cannstatter’s in the northeast, and more.
And, some of these gardens have hammocks. There ain’t no hammock down at the Linc.
3 – GUNS N’ ROSES FUNK
The bad boys of rock n’ roll were recently at The Linc. However, there was never any official press release stating that the Stadium had been properly sterilized and fumigated after GNR fans had cleared the area. People would be bringing their kids to the Linc and couldn’t risk exposure to contaminated granny panties or whippets.
Without any official notice of health inspectors giving a green light, many cautious parents probably considered the area a Superfund site filled with toxic items and garments left behind by aging rockers and groupies.
4 – WINONA RYDER
Apparently Hollywood and the Eagles underestimated the appeal of Winona Ryder. Ms. Ryder has finally returned to the spotlight in the Netflix original series Stranger Things. Hundreds of thousand Delaware Valley resident bunkered in and binge-watched Stranger Things all weekend. Don’t act like everyone around you isn’t talking about Stranger Things.
Guys from 35-50 all acquiesced to “quality time” this weekend with this image still burned into the mental greatest hits.
5 – SNORLAX
Thousands of Philadelphians changed their plans to attend the Eagles Open Practice at the very last minute, due to numerous reports at 9:48 a.m. of the rare Snorlax Pokemon Go character being seen at the Franklin Mills Mall.
Catching the Snorlax and also getting to the Practice was a difficult task due to the locations being on opposite ends of the city. People had to choose. Pokemon Go won. Pokemon Go always wins.
6 -MARLTON REDS LITTLE LEAGUE
The Marlton Reds 12 and under team is currently representing the Middle Atlantic region in the Cal Ripken World Series. Surprisingly, thousands of local sports fans decided to make the trek to Aberdeen, MD to support the kids instead of going to the Open Practice.
7 – MEAT SWEATS
Everyone has had a case of the meat sweats one time or another. They ain’t fun. The last thing anyone wants to do is sit in the blazing sun on a humid July day with the meat sweats. The Phillies and Citizens Bank Park are to blame here. Why would they schedule Philly’s BBQ Fest 2016 the day before the Open Practice? This is just ignorant on their behalf.
If the meat sweats had subsided, it would take a brave individual to venture to a stadium the morning after consuming mass amounts of BBQ meats and beers. I’m thinking there was probably large quantities of Budweiser consumed and this would make a perfect storm for the arrival of the infamous Bud-Mud. Public bathrooms are no place to be a mud-slide possible.
8 – CARS
Another unfortunate scheduling conflict for the Eagles was the East Passyunk Avenue Car Show. Nothing says Philly like cars. Football? We got like seven months coming up with football. Hot rods and antiques in South Philly? I’m surprised 18,000 still showed up at the Linc while competing with this car show. Seriously, it’s a great car show.
9 – YOGA
Yoga is all the rage. So are yoga pants. Both men and women seem to be huge fans of yoga pants. Yoga isn’t just for new-agey types any more. Ask the Phillies. They had a yoga day at the park where they gave out Phillies yoga mats.
How would this yoga fad interfere with an Eagles Open Practice attendance? I’m glad you asked. Each Sunday at the Race Street Pier is FREE YOGA at 9:30 a.m. thanks to the fine people at the Delaware Waterfront. Laugh all you want, but this pier is bumping every Sunday morning.
10 – Doug Pederson
Coach Pederson may have something to do with a small amount of people not coming out. Was it SI who rated him as the worst coach in the NFL? Irresponsible journalism like that has an effect on some people. A small portion of the population believes everything they read. I mean, the guy hasn’t coached a game yet. He hasn’t even really coordinated a game yet, so how could they know he’s the worst?
Sure, he’s boring and doesn’t generate much hype. People can be so narrow-minded. They can’t see that he’s just playing coy. He’s got my benefit of the doubt mostly because he has great hair. If anyone is gonna over achieve with these receivers, running back, and quarterbacks (aside from Carson), it’s gonna be a guy with great hair.
I kinda of think Coach Pederson’s negative effect on interest and attendance is minimal, at best. I mean, he just admitted he’s learned everything he knows about coaching from Andy Reid. That’s gotta get the base fired up. If nothing else, the two-minute drills are gonna be exciting.
PREDICTION: Next Open Practice is going to be packed. Maybe, just maybe, the Eagles took their fans for granted. I feel a bombardment of advertisements and promotions coming for the next one and everything will be back to normal.
In the meantime, namaste on the Pier, yo. Until the next jawn…