Dear John Middleton

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Dear John Middleton,

Thank you for putting a little sunshine into my seasonal depression. Thanks for always bringing strong franchise owner hair.

That’s not always a given. One would think billionaire sports team owners would go to the best salons, but that’s not always the case and I appreciate that. We could be represented by an owner with hair like this:

But no, you bring it with strong, admirable hair.

Thank you for having a stable and loving relationship with the wonderful Leigh Middleton and not having a bitter divorce or embarrassing pictures floating around the ownership universe such as this one.

Or this one:

Thank you for never being allegedly videotaped getting a rub-and-tug in a $59 sex trafficking ring like this guy.

Thank you for setting a plan for the 2019 offseason years ago and sticking to it. It took a lot of patience to watch the team struggle and Citizens Bank Park half empty.

The last four or so years, especially as a season ticket holder, have been tough. The ballpark had no energy, even while in first place last year because we knew it wasn’t a team that could seriously contend. Thanks for realizing that our patience had worn thin.

Thank you for the “stupid money” comment and drawing a line in the sand that the Phillies front office had to cross and live up to or risk facing public ridicule on a daily basis from a passionate and disappointed fan base. None of us wanted that.

Thank you for bringing Bryce Harper to Philly. I get it that the franchise is going to sell a ton more tickets, food/drink, and merchandise so it’s not a totally selfless act of kindness. You could’ve gone Machado, who is probably a better player, but you listened to the majority of the fans who leaned toward Harper. Again, you’ll reap huge financial gains, but he’s a great fit for Philadelphia.

Thanks for telling Bryce Harper that you’re willing to spend enough money to bring Mike Trout to Philly after the 2020 season *wink*wink*.

You are an aggressive owner with a palpable desire to win and we Phillies fans LOVE IT.

Thanks for giving us at least a decade of fun baseball.

Most importantly. Thank you for not increasing the cost of my season ticket package this year, even while you knew you were going to spend stupid money.

Here is my 2018 Invoice:

Here is my 2019 Invoice:

A couple more years of no increases would really help. I mean, the past few seasons were excruciatingly rough. Plus, you are gonna be selling tickets, merch, and beer like the golden years. Two more years without raising ticket prices probably wouldn’t kill ya, especially since the Comcast money has kicked in. Pretty please?

Shoutout to your wife Leigh for being the perfect wing-woman on the mission to woo Bryce and Kayla to Philly.

We’ll see ya at the ballpark!