Surviving These Depressing Times
The New Year is here. That means the holidays have passed and January is here. That means it’s prime-time for seasonal depression. Combined with a pandemic still raging out of control and the next ten weeks could be far darker and colder than normal.
I hate winter. The days are frigid. Sunlight is scarce. Getting out of bed each morning feels more difficult than sitting through an episode of The View. If it wasn’t for the dogs, some mornings I doubt that I’d get out of bed. I could probably work from bed. Who am I kidding, I have worked from bed.
THIRD PLACE
Pandemic fatigue and depression are for real. With limitations on gatherings, many of us have lost our community—our Third Place. Third Place, first discussed by sociologist Ray Oldenburg in his book The Great Good Place, is where many of us find a sense of community and place. A sense of belonging.
Our First Place is home. Second Place is work. Third Place, which Oldenburg calls “anchors,” is the place where we relax, talk with acquaintances, and meet new folks. There are no prerequisites in Third Places. Everyone is welcome and that’s part of its beauty. You meet people from all different socio-economic classes. Third Place can be a church, community centers, pubs, libraries, cafes, and so on.
The local pub, my Third Place, serves as my mental saving grace. Whether it’s meeting new people, talking with friends, overhearing a conversation, joining a random conversation, the pub always brings me into the present moment and out of my head. I haven’t sat at the bar in a local watering hole since March 12th. It’s taken a toll. Creativity is at all all-time low. Getting out of sweatpants is the challenge of the day. Most days, I fail.
ALLOWED TO BE DEPRESSED
The weird thing about pandemic depression is that many of us suffering through it are uncomfortable speaking out about it. I know because after finally talking about it with a few people, we all bonded over similar feelings of despair, frustration, and lethargy.
Many of us are lucky enough to still be working. Many of us have a special someone in our lives that makes time at home not-so-lonely. We may not have had COVID-19 nor lost anyone close to us because of it. We’ve been quite fortunate. However, while we feel lucky for any or all of those reasons, we’re still depressed. And, we feel guilty about being depressed.
Maybe it’s the grim reminders in the daily news. Maybe it’s the loss of a Third Space. Whatever it is, we’re depressed and hesitant to speak about it for fear of looking like an ingrate as we know others are far worse off. It’s okay to acknowledge the funk you’re in and to talk about it.
It’s important to know that if you feel similar, know that it’s okay to be depressed. You’re allowed, too.
So here we go. Winter is here and it feels like a perfect storm of depression possibilities. It’s also not lost on me that seasonal and pandemic depression is temporary and some folks struggle with depression for years or a lifetime. I can’t imagine their normal pain and the impact all of this has had upon them.
I guess I’m writing this for anyone who feels similar. To let them know they are not alone. To personally feel less alone. I can’t go to the pub and complain. Shooting this out into the digital world is all I got.
THE PLAN
We need a plan to get through this. Without a plan, we can succumb to destructive behaviors.
What’s the plan? The plan is to get through this. Look on the bright side, we’re already past the first week in January. It was a crazy week, but we made it through. We’re like 12.5% of the way through this. We got this.
Here’s my plan. Maybe you have something similar.
Do not drink too much. It’s very tempting to numb yourself at night with cocktails or beer. Trust me. Lived this. The problem is that the next morning will suck and anxiety will be high. Next thing you know, a circular self-medicating habit with no great end-game could develop stronger and quicker than normal times.
Work out. I have to get moving. Most of the time, that’s the hardest thing. I’m going for walks and short jogs a few times a week.
Stay connected, people! Connections with people are vital. I plan to bundle up and meet friends outside. Zooming can never take the place of connecting with people in person, but I’m gonna Zoom and Facetime my face off. Whether it’s family, friends, or gaming with strangers online. Stay connected.
Music. Listen to music. Appreciate the classics. Discover new artists. Music is powerful and can affect our moods. Don’t be listening to depressing music, though. The power of music can amplify moods. If you’re down, don’t amplify that with depressing music like The Carpenters. Use the beauty of music to boost your mood. If you just search “happy” on Spotify there are numerous playlists for happy moods, happy days, wake up happy, and so on.
I gotta learn something new. Growth is good. Free and or reasonably priced classes are readily available on a variety of subjects. I just went in with a friend on Master Class. An entire year of classes for $90. Learning new things seems like a good way to pass some time so that we exit this pandemic better than when it began.
That’s my plan. I’d love to hear yours.
Most importantly, if the days get too dark and you feel like not going on, call someone. Anyone. Friends. Family. Hotlines. The world needs you in it, even when it feels like it doesn’t.
We can do this. We got this. And, the other side of this pandemic is going to be one hell of a party. Stay strong.