Howie Roseman Broke This Eagles Fan

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It’s official. Howie Roseman has broken this Eagles fan. There’s no other way to say it. I was once the guy who insisted on an Eagles’ bye-week wedding when his fiance wanted an October date. I’ve bled green since I began scuffing my knees while learning to walk in our Hope Street house in Kensington. But, for the first time in my life, I had no interest in watching an Eagles game—a primetime game, too.

I didn’t watch one play of the Eagles game vs. Tom Brady and the Super Bowl Champ Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The only other Eagles game that I can remember missing was an Eagles/Steelers game about four years ago while traveling to Tokyo.

Why? Because I knew how it was going to end. Because I wanted to avoid the frustration. Because I had no hope.

I needed a mental break so my partner and I enjoyed world-class cocktails at Hop Sing Laundromat instead. A quick check of my texts and Twitter timeline later that night proved that I made the correct call.  While friends and fans vented with continued frustration over a team with no direction and mediocre talent, I enjoyed a pleasant bourbon-induced buzz.

I went into this season with no expectations, but the lack of identity and talent—especially young talent—has had me in a sports funk. I needed a timeout.

Don’t give me any “spoiled” or “fairweather” fan bullshit, especially if you never lived through the Marion Campbell and Rich Kotite years. I’ve been watching, supporting, and sporting Eagles gear during some putrid seasons as far back as the last time the Flyers won a Stanley Cup, which is basically prehistoric times—see photos above and below.

This feels different than the dark days of the 70s and 80s. I always felt a glimmer of hope. Not now because it seems like Howie Roseman will be the general manager for the foreseeable future and he’s been abysmal, no matter what comparisons his stat geeks compile to show he’s not better or worse than the league average in hitting on drafts. I get they won in 2018, but that was more about Nick Foles playing with divine inspiration than any great personnel architecture as the quick collapse has demonstrated.

Howie has again and again proven an inability to draft well and develop a stable of young players. How many players of their starting 22 would definitely start on other squads? By my count, it’s about 14.

Fletcher Cox
Javon Hargrave
Lane Johnson
Jason Kelce
Jordan Mailata
Miles Sanders
Darius Slay
DeVonta Smith
Josh Sweat
Brandon Brooks
Brandon Graham
Isaac Seumalo
Dallas Goedert
Quez Watkins

That means almost a third of their starters would not. They might as well have Bamboo Brad Miller playing middle linebacker.

How many of those are 27 and under? DeVonta Smith, Miles Sanders, Josh Sweat, Dallas Goedert, Quez Watkins. Not exactly a full stable of young talent.

BUT THEY HAVE THREE FIRST-ROUND PICKS THIS YEAR!

Yippee. You have to be smoking the dankest of dank herbs to take any solace in that knowing Howie will be the GM making those picks. How many misses have they had under his stewardship? I don’t know how anyone can look at these two draft classes and feel confident in the least.

It’s a joke, so much that the Vikings openly laughed at the Eagles’ selection of Reagor.

That crappy record of picks doesn’t even touch on the Carson Wentz pick. How did they interview Wentz numerous times, break bread with him, and still think he could mentally handle playing in Philadelphia? I can take a guess. The analytics crew has no clue how to quantify intangibles.

The linebackers are a joke. Alex Singleton is their stud linebacker and a team captain? He’s nothing more than an average special teams player not even close to the likes of Ike Reese and Keith Adams.

I love everything about Jalen Hurts as a kid, but he really looks like a backup quarterback at best. Another reach and bad pick in the second round. Speaking of bad second-round picks, how about J.J. Arcega Whiteside and the 2019 draft?

I know. I know. JJAW is rumored to have been the selection of Jeffrey Lurie, who seems to be becoming more involved in player selections. First of all, Howie probably leaked those rumors to his local connections. Secondly, if true, Howie, as GM, should have enough information, data, and scouting reports to gently push back against Lurie’s erroneous desires and politely show him why a selection like JJAW doesn’t make sense. He obviously didn’t.

Those three draft snapshots shown above have a total of 23 players picked. Two of them look like legit players in Miles Sanders and Quez Watkins. TWO! That’s an 8% hit rate. We’re supposed to have hope about the future of our Eagles with Howie overseeing such a big upcoming draft? God bless you if you do.

Howie supporters, if there are any, will say “what about his 2018 draft? You’re cherry-picking drafts.”

Okay. Let’s include that jackpot of a draft.

Goedert, Maddox, Sweat, and Mailata all seem fine. Mailata probably has the most upside. If we include that draft, that gives Howie a hit on six out of twenty-eight picks. That’s a 21% hit rate. That just isn’t good enough to rebuild a football team.

So, yeah. I’m a broken Eagles fan who needed a time out to regroup and recharge. I’ll be back this week watching, hoping that if Howie sticks around he’ll only be involved in 6th and 7th round picks where he occasionally finds a gem. Hoping Siriani finds his groove and Gannon gets a clue on defense. And, most likely, drinking to numb the pain of another depressing performance.

Go Birds!

P.S. Anyone have a Xanax?