Don’t Phuck with Philly Statues

It happens again and again. Some fan base gets fired up about their road trip to Philly for a big game. Some knucklehead has the idea to put their opposing team’s jersey on the Rocky Statue. Next thing you know, they’re down at the Statue acting like tough guys and dropping their team’s gear on the bronze Rocky.

Let this be a warning to every team in every major sport in North America. MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL I am totally speaking directly to you. It’s time you learned what we here in Philly learned the hard way. Philly statues don’t take kindly to clothing additions.

In 1993, the Phillies played the Blue Jays in the World Series. The city thought it would be an extraordinary show of team spirit to put a Phillies hat on the William Penn statue atop City Hall. The Phillies lost at the hands of a crushing Joe Carter home run.

In 1997, the Flyers made it to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Detroit Red Wings. Again, the city decided to adorn the William Penn statue with some team spirit—a huge Flyers jersey. The Flyers lost.

In 2008, the Phillies faced the Tampa Bay Rays in the World Series. The city Billy Penn alone and the Phillies won. Lesson learned.

On January 21, 2018, Vikings fans came to town for the NFC Championship Game. They put Vikings’ purple and gold clothing on the Rocky Statue and got whooped by the Birds 38-7.

And, we all know what happened last week after those 49ers fans thought it would be funny to troll Eagles fans by putting Niners’ colors on the Rocky Statue. The Niners got blown out 31-7.

Opposing teams, you’ve been warned. I know it’s tempting with over 1,500 statues throughout the city. Better yet, please continue doing what you’re doing. We need more fates like the Vikings and the Niners.

Go Birds!