Eagles are Dallas’ Drunk Uncle

You know the type–stuffy, stuck-up, pretentious, whatever. They make you take your shoes off when you enter. They’re worried you might damage their fine Lenox china. They talk about their amazing trips to annoying places. They also just love hosting on the Holidays to show off their fantastic lives. That’s the Cowboys.

Then there is the friend or family member that parties a bit harder than the rest of us. They kick it up a notch. Maybe they bring a flask and sweet chiba to the family gatherings. Drunken karaoke may or may not happen. Inappropriate jokes may be told. Basically, they bring the party. Maybe it’s your uncle, grandfather, maybe it’s you. I’ve been lucky enough to have drunk uncles, cousins, and grandparents in my life.  I couldn’t imagine life without them. That’s the Eagles.

25 years ago the Dallas Cowboys invited the Eagles to their home for Thanksgiving. They couldn’t handle the party that the Eagles brought. Luis Zendejas, Aikman, Jimmy Johnson all whined publicly about cheapshots and alleged bounties.  It was like Aunt Gertie complaining that drunk Uncle Gus broke a piece of Waterford Crystal stemware while drinking his Schlitz.

25 years later, the Cowboys invite the Eagles back for Thanksgiving and nothing has changed, except for the lack of alleged bounties. Publicly, Dez Bryant and others complain about the cheapshots and swear revenge. Blah, Blah, Blah. The Cowboys and the league need to face the fact that the Cowboys just can’t handle celebrating the holidays in typical Eagles fashion. They’re better off inviting the likes of the Falcons, Titans, and Buccaneers.

The NFC East is one dysfunctional family and the Eagles are it’s drunk uncle.  Hey Jerry Jones…if your household can’t party on the holidays like big boys in your “big boy pants,” stop inviting the Eagles over. We’re just fine staying home with family and friends on Thanksgiving with our boxed wine, twelve packs and deviled eggs!

E-A-G-L-E-S!