NOT PHILLY: Dunkin’ Donuts Closure Devastates Shamokin

by Posted on

Every now and then a story pops up that needs some attention and isn’t Philly/Delaware Valley connected. A tipster sent this one our way.

A teen recently set fire to toilet paper in the bathroom of a Dunkin’ Donuts in Shamokin, Pennsylvania, which is about 93 miles northwest of Philly. As a result, the Dunkin Donuts has been shut down.

Now, I get DD has some kickass coffee, according to my parents. They’re pretty much junkies. However, the people in this new clip are acting like a loved one has died. These people are devastated. In all my days, I never thought I would hear anyone call a Dunkin’ Donuts classy.

The people act like there aren’t any other coffee options in Shamokin. Come on, a quick Yelp! search brings up four or five other coffee spots in the town.

shamokin_coffee

WhatNot even pulls in a 3.5 rating after 3 reviews. DD isn’t even on the list. Janie and James need to do a little PR in Shamokin to raise some awareness. It’s a town of 7,200 people. That’s like a neighborhood. How can people not know they exist? Sponsor a park bench, a little league team, a bingo night, something.

Maybe it’s blind ignorance because they don’t want no other coffee. There might be crack in it. I’ve seen my parents. Some days they make 3 trips to DD. They ain’t interested in McDonald’s or Starbucks. WaWa is an barely-acceptable replacement, but nothing like the old DD crack, I mean coffee.

Anyways, here’s the clip.