Did the PPA Just Hire My Dead Italian Grandmother?

The Philadelphia Parking Authority (PPA) recently installed new parking signs around my neighborhood in South Philly. Normally, I don’t pay them much mind. These, however, immediately brought me back to my dearly departed Italian grandmother’s living room. Did she return from the dead to consult the PPA on sign longevity? Why else would the signs be covered in protective plastic?

I remember her tiny living room on M Street in Juniata Park in the 1980’s. I remember her rust-colored sofa and loveseat and the plastic covers that protected the cushions from spills and wear and tear. I remember sitting on them while wearing shorts in the summer and the suction that formed underneath my thighs with the perfect combination of flesh, sweat, air, and plastic. There was also that tearing sound when I finally found the strength to stand and break the vacuum seal. To her credit, I only remember one set of furniture throughout my childhood so that horrible plastic worked.

It wasn’t just a one-time mistake. Here’s another set of signs covered in plastic.

It’s also not temporary. They’ve been like this for weeks.

Is this a thing or a total mishap? You see any plastic-covered signs in your hood? Miss ya, Grandma, especially your pasta e fagioli, homemade marinara, but definitely not your plastic furniture. Holler if you read this. I have a couple of parking tickets that I could use an insider’s help with.