Please use the Allen Iverson Test While Social Distancing
What is so difficult to understand about social distancing? Please, I need to know. Every time I take a dreaded trek outside for dog-walking or food runs, idiots are every seemingly oblivious to proper social-distancing.
People with other dogs have actually attempted to approach and have our dogs interact with one another. I’m about to become the neighborhood whacko walking about saying “6 FEET 6 FEET” as people approach. Even when I make an exaggerated step to the side of the sidewalk, approaching walkers usually stroll down the center of the sidewalk. STEP TO THE DAMN SIDE!!
The professional shoppers at Whole Foods go about shopping as if nothing all is normal. They zoom past you with nary a foot between them and other unsuspecting shoppers deciding on a pasta sauce. Some of the shoppers even gather to shoot-the-shit inches from each other.
Then there are the double-wide walkers. These are two people walking together who refuse to go single-file as they pass you on the sidewalk to create a safe buffer zone. Nope, these inconsiderate folks stay double-wide. putting innocently approaching individuals at risk.
Like these two, I found myself walking behind on South Street.
FYI, the guy in the middle dragging behind a little DID NOT go behind his buddy on the right. That’s as far right as the double-wides moved. This was yesterday…Sunday.
That ain’t six feet. Allen Iverson is six feet tall, at least he’s listed at six feet. Could Allen Iverson fit between the solo guy and the double-wides?
Take a look.
The ANSWER is no! He’d be forced into the street.
If they were single-file, there is a chance the oncoming pedestrian could safely pass.
The absolute worst offenders have to be runners under 40-years-old. The run past you on the sidewalk practically brushing up against you as they pass while huffing and puffing with exertion, shooting droplets of their saliva into the air.
I’m thinking I need to walk around with a sandwich board sign with “I HAVE IT” painted on it to frighten folks into a safe buffer zone.
This isn’t calculus. Wash your hands and stay 6 feet apart from anyone you don’t live with. I implore you to use the AI test. Can AI lie down between you and the person you’re walking past? If not, it’s not safe.
Enough with that rant. Here are some other observations from this past weekend.
The state is not playing around with the liquor stores. They have boarded up the windows of the stores throughout the city.
Friday was 79 degrees out. It wasn’t 88 and humid. It wasn’t 93. There’s no need to be out and about running with your shirt off like this dude. We all get it. We’re all excited for warm weather, but we aren’t all ripping our shirts off or sunbathing on the first nice day.
Two days later, I saw the opposite of topless-running-guy. It was winter coat-and-shorts-guy. What is the point of this? If it’s cold enough for a winter jacket, put on some joggers. If he was coming from the gym, this might make sense. But, gyms have been closed.
This highlight of my recent treks may have been the guy ahead of me at Target. He might be the most “ready for baseball” guy in the area. Phillies hat. Phillies jersey. Phillies keychain.
FYI, zoom was on so you could see the Phillies logo on the keychain. AI could have fit between us.
Remember people: wash your hands often and keep Allen Iverson distance between you and anyone you don’t live with no matter how good you feel. You could still be an asymptomatic carrier. Be smart and considerate.