We Must Put an End to This Fascist School Policy
Summer always gets the shaft. For some reason, our society’s annual tradition is to unofficially end summer on Labor Day. I don’t know when or why this started, but NEWSFLASH: summer doesn’t officially end until the September equinox. The September equinox annually falls between September 21-24. This year, it ends Wednesday, September 22nd.
There’s one group of people who traditionally get the summer shaft worst than summer—STUDENTS! Throughout my thirteen torturous years of mandatory schooling, I always dreaded Labor Day. The Tuesday or Wednesday after always marked the end of summer vacation and the beginning of school. I remember thinking Wait! This is summer vacation and summer is officially still going.
Imagine my surprise this morning, as a childless adult, as I drove my car to the mechanic a little before eight in the morning. I saw crossing guards escorting kids with sparkly new backpacks through South Philly intersections. School buses clogged the roads.
What the? Did I sleep through Labor Day? I couldn’t have. I mean, I only had one small glass of Green Spot Irish Whiskey last night. Not enough to sleep through an entire week. What heinous acts of trickery put these Fascist acts into motion? School BEFORE LABOR DAY?!
Are the kids starting early because of lost days and time due to the ongoing Pandemic? I had to know. Nope. A Google search shows that Philadelphia Superintendent Dr. William R. Hite, Jr. announced the change back in 2018. He cited some hogwash as loading up on school days earlier in the year for snow-day wiggle room and combating “spring-itis” and “summer-itis.”
Come on with that nonsense. We’re not living in Minnesota. Philly annual snow accumulations, if anything, have to be decreasing. We did just fine back in the day starting after Labor Day and facing multiple blizzards and, of course, walking barefoot four miles through those blizzards to get to school. Summer-itis and spring-itis are gonna happen whenever you start or end the school year. It’s probably been that way since scholars taught pupils in Ancient Greece.
Where’s the outrage? I know parents, especially this year, are excited for in-class learning resuming and finally having the kids out of the house for the first time since last March. Philly’s legendary food blogger Fidel Gastro did a great TikTok video capturing exactly this.
@sideprojectjerky First day alone in the house since March 13, 2020, but who’s counting? #tomcruise #riskybusiness
Think of the kids, though. They have it hard enough these days. They’re dealing with virtual learning, wearing masks, and even worse, all these back-to-school photos parents force them to pose for so that they can share on their social media accounts.
In my opinion, kids should have off until the official end of summer during that third week of September. That’ll never happen. At the very least, summer vacation should extend until after Labor Day. I repeat, at least until Labor Day.
Parents need to put their own selfish desires to the side and rally behind their kids against these Fascist School Boards forcing them into the classrooms while summer is still unofficially happening.
And, they should be wearing masks until the epidemiologists and virologists—not parents, general practitioner doctors/pediatricians, and politicians—say otherwise or until they can get vaccinated. They’re sitting in class, they ain’t running marathons.
Go Birds!